Mom: If you were going to kill someone, what weapon would you choose?
Me: A dull knife.
Dad: Why a dull knife?
Me: You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious.
Mom: We've raised a potential serial killer.
Dad: I don't know about you, but I'm proud of the amount of thought that went into that.
tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
How to write an essay:
Step 1: Open Microsoft Word
Step 2: Cry
Step 3: Open Tumblr
sorryabouthis: Finals week is literally the most stressful week ever. Especially because I have to worry about packing too.
When your friends come to you for advice:
“good… good, you’ve come to the right place.” forever reblog